Finding The Bright And The Beautiful

I’m going to begin by saying . . . Please bear with me. I’m hoping this will all make sense by the time I get it all written down!

You see, for the last ten days, I have felt compelled to write something. I just didn’t know what.

Then, today, like I do every day, I made my bed. Sort of out of the blue, an idea came to me. The idea came from this pillow:

I bought this pillow at Target a few years ago now. I have to admit, it was kind of an impulse buy, but it absolutely was a perfect choice. If you had ever spent anytime with Chris, at some point, I’m pretty sure you would have heard him whistling. Now, unlike my son, who whistles a variety of tunes, Chris usually stuck to one tried and true song: Monty Python’s, “Always Look On The Bright Side of Life.” Seriously. The only words to the song that he would sing, were, “Always look on the bright side of life,” and then he would whistle the rest of the song. It got to the point that the crew learned how to sort of whistle/hum the tune. For those of you that know the rest of the words to the song, I am sure we can all agree, it was probably best that Chris stuck to singing just the title words, while the crew was still young!

Which leads me to today. Well, really this entire week. You see, this week is a challenging week. Chris died five years ago last week, and it was five years ago today that he was buried. Yes, it has been five years, but there is still something about this week that just knocks me down. I know I make it through the other 51 weeks of the year, but every year, for this week, my brain is scattered, I don’t want to be an adult, and I would really rather be taking a nap.  And as I hit my low point this morning, I looked at that pillow that sits on my bed, and realized, I have not been looking on the bright side. Instead it has been thoughts like, my eyes are red, probably pink eye.

Oh, I have a sniffle. I must have the plague. My head hurts, it’s probably terminal. (For the record, I’m fine. I have allergies, we spent almost the entire weekend outside in Williamsburg, (explains eyes and sniffle), and I went a day without coffee, which gave me a headache).

So this afternoon, I am working on changing my mindset. I need to recognize the bright. I need to see the beautiful that has been right in front of me this entire week. I need to take a moment to recognize and appreciate it. I need to take a moment to share it all.

We’ll begin with last Friday. (Don’t worry, I won’t do EVERY day of this week) This school year, I have tried something new with the crew. I had read about the idea in a parenting blog this summer, and thought I would give it a try. (If I can find the original blog, I will be sure to share it). Anyway, the idea is, to give the children a goal you know, for a fact, they can accomplish on any given day. So rather than saying, “do well on your test,” (cause hello, tests are stressful, and at some point we all fail one) I would tell my youngest to avoid getting eaten by a boa constrictor. One was, to avoid an avalanche of ping-pong balls during PE class. Or, avoid getting abducted by green space aliens, but if you are, please be home in time for dinner. The more outrageous, the better it is. Now the crew is coming up with some ideas of their own for their goals for the day! It’s something ridiculous and fun, and usually has us laughing in the morning. Well, last Friday, I told the crew in the morning, before we headed out the door, that the goal was a bit different this time. Their goal last Friday was to do a random act of kindness. If they saw an opportunity, they could do more than one. Hold the door open for someone. Smile at someone in the hallway between classes. I told them, they didn’t even have to tell me what they did, or how many acts of kindness they did, but rather, take a moment to be kind. They all agreed, this was a perfect goal for the day.

Then we walked outside. That was the morning our neighbors showered us in love. Literally hanging 200+ hearts on our tree. They knew Friday was a milestone, and they let us know, we are not alone. The children saw, first hand, what kind of impact they could have with an act of kindness.

We left town the next day, to run away for the long weekend. We escaped to Williamsburg and had a wonderful time. The weather was absolutely perfect. The historical interpreters patiently answered hundreds of questions from my crew. It couldn’t have been better. On Sunday night we went to our favorite restaurant there, Maurizio’s. Most of the tables were full. Our table of four was kind of in the middle of the room. There was a table of what appeared to be three couples sitting near us. They were having a mighty fine time. We were having a pretty typical dinner, but not too crazy (for us) dinner conversation. When it came time to pay the bill, I had something happen that I have only read about in stories. The waitress handed my card back to me, and told me the bill had already been paid! One of the gentlemen at the table of three couples had paid our bill. I asked the waitress, really? She assured me it was true. I looked up, and said thank you from where I was sitting. When we were ready to leave, as I stood up, I caught his eye and said thank you again. I had intended to walk over to say thank you, and to tell him he had no idea how much his act of kindness meant to the children and I, but he waved off the thank you, as if it wasn’t a big deal. In the long run, it’s probably better, and a lot less awkward for all of us, that I didn’t walk over and begin a conversation. I probably would have ended up crying. I will never know why he felt compelled to do such a thing, but it has definitely made a lasting impression on all of us.

Other beautiful moments this week included all the phone calls and texts from family and friends. I’ve had short to long conversations. I’ve had conversations that have covered a wide range of topics. Each conversation has let it be known, that the crew and I are loved.

And finally, I come to today. Like I said, today is not an easy day. I’m coming to grips with the fact that this day will probably never be an easy day. But even Mother Nature, as she brings us sunshine and cold arctic feeling wind, is reminding me, to look on the bright side of life. You see, the first time this plant bloomed, was the week of the funeral five years ago. It’s blooming again today . . .