I took a walk today.

I took a walk today.

I know, not a big deal. People do it every day.  It’s pretty easy to do. After all, you just put one foot in front of the other and repeat. But today, it was me. I took a walk.

So it is a glorious September morning. September 5 to be exact. The walk to the bus stop had a briskness to it, with the promise of warming up as the day went on. Just enough hint of Fall, to feel alive. So after everyone went to the bus stop, I was sitting in a quiet house. I realized as I sat there that it was much too quiet. I also realized, I had NOTHING on my schedule for today. I’m not subbing, I don’t have to take the car in for inspection (that was yesterday after all!), I’m not signed up to volunteer at school yet, there are no doctor appointments, not even ballet or baseball is on today’s schedule. The possibilities of what to do with my day were endless. Honestly, it terrified me that there was nothing planned.

But then sweet Athena, my wonderful puppy came into the room and stretched out beside me. The beauty of the morning was still with me, so realizing that I had the time, and surprisingly the energy, I decided to take a walk with Athena. Honestly, I was worried about keeping my own company, so I did call a friend or two to ask if they wanted to join me. However, they had other plans. Thankfully. Don’t get me wrong, we would have had an enjoyable walk and chat, and I would have been thankful for the company, but I'm learning, that sometimes, as terrifying as it may seem, you need to be on your own.

The moment that I started getting ready to walk, ie. donning my running shoes, Athena rose to the occasion and was thrilled by the opportunity to go. She raced to the basket where her leash is kept, and once it was on, she bounced at the door, as if she was trying to get it open on her own. The amount of energy she has, far surpasses mine! So we began our walk with energy, and with the purpose of not going anywhere in particular. As we walked, she stopped to smell, and I would stop to observe. Whether it was the purple flowers in the field, the butterfly and dragonflies in the air, or even the faceless person mowing their lawn, we paused to take note.

It was as the initial energy wore off, and our walk slowed that I really looked at Athena. Then it hit me that it has been 13 years since we first brought her home as an eight week old puppy. How, there never had been a plan to have a dog in our life, and yet, here she is, 13 years later . . .

A brief history of Athena . . . I was six months pregnant when I quit my job, and we happily moved from NYC to Virginia. Chris had started working a dream job for him, and I was going to start my dream job, of raising a family, and being able to stay home. We had been here for a little over 6 weeks, when we finally took our cars in for the state safety inspection. When we arrived at the gas station we discovered that it would be another hour at least before we could take our cars home. So being restless, I decided to head to the pet store in the shopping center. Thought I would see if there were any cute “puppies in the window.” Not to get one, but just to see cute puppies. After all, I was due to give birth in 9 weeks, and baby anything was on my mind. As it turned out, the pet store’s neighbor had an entire litter of puppies that had been born because Mama dog had been outside, and the Daddy dog was fast. (We’re still not 100% sure what kind of dog we have – we know for certain that she is at least part border collie). When I went back to Chris, I asked how he felt about getting a puppy. His response, “I will not condone, nor condemn getting a dog.” In other words, it would have to be my decision. After several trips between the pet store, and the gas station, with time to play with the puppy in between, and the same answer from Chris all three times that I asked, I decided to just jump right in and get a puppy. I mean, I had 9 weeks to get it housetrained, right? As it turned out, I only had six weeks. My oldest was born in October. Just as Fall was fully entrenched, and an icy winter loomed.

So 13 years ago this Fall, I found myself, with a puppy, and new baby, in a town where I only knew one person besides my husband. We lived in a third floor walk up apartment, and there weren’t too many children living there. There was only one other stay at home mom that I met in the entire apartment complex. As winter set in, I realize now, I was a perfect candidate for postpartum depression. But there was Athena. She was always there by my side. She loved taking long walks. It didn’t matter the weather, she wanted to be outside seeing the world. So there I was, baby wrapped up, in the stroller or in the carrier, Athena on a leash, and we would walk. We spent hours walking. Most days we walked at least five miles. Some days it would be close to ten.

It has hit me before, and it did again today. Athena pretty much saved me 13 years ago. She saved me from depression and from losing my mind by being at home with a new baby. She made me get out of the house. It also made me realize, that in her own way she is saving me yet again. No question about it, my children are the reason I get out of bed each morning. But there is something special about Athena.  Today was the first time in over ten months that I have really taken the time to walk outside. To think. To observe. To realize she was once again saving me from myself.

I took a walk today. I put one foot in front of the other. I kept moving forward. It isn’t always easy, but I did it.