Putting Out Fires

This is for those of you who have not already heard the story in person.

It’s a true story.

It all began with the dog.

Okay, really, it might have started earlier than that . . . like when I decided it was time to redo the basement, and I purchased a new bookcase/entertainment center from Ikea, and so I had to assemble it myself, which meant the basement had to be cleaned first, so there was room to build it, which meant things had to be boxed up, and then I started building it, and it took me almost a week to assemble, because my helpers are 8, 11, and 13, and they argued as to who is going to help me next, and I might have switched the top and bottom pieces, and I might have been frustrated with my children, and I may have been bemoaning the fact that I am not Mary Poppins, cause if I was I could have snapped my fingers and everything would be neat and tidy.

But I digress. I will begin the story with the dog.

I love my dog. Her name is Athena, and she has been an amazing companion for 14 years. But, she is 14 years old, and every once in awhile she has an accident. On a particular Thursday morning this happened. I really blame myself for not getting myself out of bed earlier (it is summer time after all) to let her out. Anyway, she had an accident on the kitchen floor. No big deal. I cleaned up the mess. I even used Clorox wipes for good measure on the soiled area. Well, then it happened again later that afternoon. Again, no big deal, I cleaned up the mess, and we went about day two of building the bookcase.

Along came Friday morning. Still summertime, and I am still trying to sleep in. I was awake by 7:00, as usual, but I didn’t jump out of bed. That is, until I heard Athena pacing downstairs. I didn’t quite make it downstairs in time to get her outside before she had an accident. Ugh. Had to clean up another mess. It was at this point that I decided the entire kitchen floor was due for a scrubbing. The spot cleaning just wasn’t going to cut it. I needed a fully clean kitchen floor.

It was time to utilize my children’s desire to help! I wish I could recall what I fed them that particular week, as they kept asking me how they could help. Now, I know I am biased and think I have great children, but the offer to help with everything doesn’t happen every day. I have to make sure I channel the energy when it appears! So, I put the girls to work on scrubbing the kitchen floor.

Now I know that scrubbing the floor seems like a simple task. Get a mop, some soapy water, and everyone is good to go. However, I do have one child who might be a slight perfectionist. So she decided that the kitchen floor needed to be completely cleared prior to cleaning. This meant the garbage can, the broom, the dust mop, the dust pan, the box of garbage bags, and the two fire extinguishers in the back corner of the kitchen needed to be moved to another room. It makes sense to move it from one corner in the kitchen, to one corner in the dining room. Also included in the move, were the dog’s dishes, and the kitchen rugs. The corner chosen in the dining room, happens to be right next to the entrance to the kitchen. So if a person needed to walk from one room to the other, it became a bit of an obstacle course to get through. Really, I wasn’t going to complain about that since the girls had graciously agreed to clean the kitchen floor. Now their willingness might have also stemmed from the fact, that once you have a kitchen floor covered in warm soapy water, you can skate across it much easier. So cleaning the floor can be fun. All I knew, the kitchen floor was going to be clean, I wasn’t going to have to do it, and I could go back to building the bookcases.

So day three of building the bookcase/entertainment center commences, while the girls are cleaning the kitchen. At some point in the afternoon, I head back upstairs thinking it would be a good time to have lunch. Plus I needed a break from the directions that Ikea provides. The kitchen floor has now been clean for quite some time. However, the girls had not put back all of the items they had taken out of the kitchen. So I walked around and through the obstacle course into the kitchen. It was on the way back out of the kitchen, and avoiding the dog dishes, I missed seeing the box of garbage bags. Now kicking a box of garbage bags really isn’t that big of a deal, but kicking a box of garbage bags that have a fire extinguisher precariously balancing on top of it is. In fact, when the fire extinguisher comes down on your foot, it may come to the attention of your children, that you have an entirely different vocabulary than they are used to hearing.

It was my son’s fortune (or not so much) that he was the first person I saw after having this happen. There may or may not have been steam coming out of my ears when I looked at him, and instructed him to move the blasted fire extinguisher, and everything else that belonged in the kitchen back to the kitchen. Being the fabulous child that he is, he jumped up and ran to do what I told him to do. As I was still muttering curse words under my breath, I turned around to make sure he had followed directions. Instead, I see him holding the handle of the fire extinguisher, but his knees were bent, and he was looking down on the ground. He wasn’t really moving. Now, in my anger at the fire extinguisher, and myself for not seeing it, I could not fathom why he was standing still and looking at the ground. I may have raised my voice, to tell him to just get moving, and get the thing out of my sight.

And that was the last thing I should have done.

Please note here . . . if a child is holding a fire extinguisher by the handle, do not raise your voice at them.

I repeat, do not raise your voice.

Because, what happens when a person raises their voice at another person? That person flinches. Their hands may clinch. And if that person happens to be holding a fire extinguisher by the handle . . .

Yes. Yes, it really did happen. The fire extinguisher really did go off. Thankfully, it did not go on my child. Rather, it was pointed at the corner. Yes, the corner of the dining room. The corner where the garbage can, the broom, the dust mop, the dust pan, the box of garbage bags, and now only one fire extinguisher were sitting. Really, everything that I could possibly want to use to clean up the mess was sitting in that corner.

I won’t bore you with the details of the clean up from the mess. It involved a couple of phone calls to Tyco Fire Protection Products. They are the ones who manufactured the monoammonium phosphate inside the fire extinguisher, and they are a lovely group of people. It also involved a vacuum, a new mop, old cleaning rags, and a lot of baking soda with warm water.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, like I was, why my child was standing still and looking at the ground . . . he had noticed the pin in the fire extinguisher was missing, and he was looking for it. I had not. It was located during the clean up process.

It was then time to go back to building the bookcases . . . wonder why it took me so long to complete that?

So that is just one true story from my summer vacation. How was your summer?